Do You Truly Listen?
By Tara Burner

Women, by nature, are good conversationalists. We like to talk. We make good sounding boards. We even have some wonderful contributions to make. But do we truly listen?

Oh most can hear just fine; however hearing and listening differ greatly. Specifically I'm referring to listening to feedback. The term "constructive criticism" is somewhat of an oxymoron. To criticize is to criticize is to criticize. It doesn't matter if you try to frame it around the word "constructive". No one likes to be criticized.

However, if someone is offering feedback, do you truly listen? Are you able to truly listen? Or do you have obstacles that won't allow you to consider the feedback? Let's be honest – some people bug us. Sometimes we meet other women, whether online or off, that we just don't mesh with. That's ok because we are all unique individuals and don't need to be friend with all.

Yet you are doing yourself and your business a disservice if you don't listen to feedback from everyone. Some of these same people, whom you aren't particularly fond of, for whatever reason, are the same ones who have valuable knowledge, skills and abilities and are willing to take time to talk to you in the spirit of continuous improvement. If someone is offering feedback, you should truly listen.

You certainly don't always have to accept the feedback but at least try it on. Here's a classic WWYD example:

You visit the webpage of someone you may want to do business with. You're either searching for a provider or someone may have recommended her to you. Once there you immediately see that her website is substandard for a business person. It looks homemade and amateurish. Yet some of the credentials you've heard about or possibly read sound good. Still her website leaves much to be desired.

WWYD:
A – Leave immediately, if someone doesn't care enough about her professional image, how can you be sure she takes her business seriously? If she has a B-rate looking website, does her product or service also reflect the same B-rate?

B- Not leave immediately, but proceed with extreme caution.

C – Ah who cares, it's just a website. Besides, her friend designed it. She's still a good business person – or so I've heard.

That was from the customer viewpoint. Now let's look at it from the business end. Three scenarios are likely here:

A – The person is not aware that her website is potentially costing her business. No one has even said anything about it. Although, it's difficult to calculate the cost of unknown business lost.

B – Someone or more than one, has mentioned that she ought to change the look of her website to give it a more professional appearance (Omit the amateur looking all centered text, change fonts, fu-fu graphics, etc.) yet because she knows and likes her web designer (or she, herself may have made the site) she absolutely refuses to listen.

C – She claims she has more business than she could ever want; she's received many compliments; the web sight is great; the designer is wonderful; and she can assure you it is not costing her any business whatsoever. This is a case of "thee protests too much" - Very defensive and refusal to listen.

What if you were to listen to all communication with absolutely no preconceived notions? Sometimes we tend to blow off people whom we've deemed as non credible. Or we all have the chatty Cathy's in our lives who just seem to go on and on and on and never stop talking. Do you truly listen to those people?

Try it. Try listening to every word, be it written or verbal that comes your way with an objective ear. Just be present to what message is being sent. Then objectively take what you like and discard the rest.

As a business owner, if you are only hearing, and not truly listening you must be independently wealthy and don't really need to work, because you're either losing customers or losing the potential to be even bigger and better than you already are.

Stop hearing people and start listening.

About the Author: Tara Burner has been a home based business owner for 18 years. She owns Affordable Mineral Makeup. 

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